Blessing in disguise

So this little tidbit came to me as I was driving home today. You know when people say that they have gone "numb" or "shut down" everyone else gets worried. That is not always a bad thing. I haven't been sleeping well or eating regularly for about two weeks. The stress of my life was, for lack of a better phrase, consuming my life. But I made a collosal life-altering choice on Sunday. It may be for the better, it may not, but I still made it. And after that. I admit I kinda went numb. The definition of numb is roughly "a lack of feeling". Totally makes sense. good thing I have had a lot of practice acting happy. hahaha But I realized something. When your feelings go numb, the survivor part of your brain kicks in subconciously. When your body is tired, it will sleep. When it's hungry, it will eat. It will keep on living because the logical side of the brain refuses to give up when the alternative is easily gained. Being numb can effect all of your thoughts, but can only fully control emotions. So why fight it. Numbness is also a safety feature designed so that we can deal with one thing at a time, thereby avoiding being overwhelmed and doing something stupid.
Don't get me wrong, I am not a fan of this feeling, or lack thereof, but it is something that I am going to deal with. I know it will go away, when I am strong enough and ready to deal with everything. And I can;t wait, because I truly want to be happy, not just make the motions. Goodnight