"money can't buy happiness" "love is not enough" " it's not you, it's me" "It's just not working out" "I need some time" I am amazed that in a society as advanced as ours, there are so many problems with love. From an early age, we are overloaded with images of Happily Ever After, and True Love. But as we get older, the emphasis leaves the Love and Ever parts behind. we learn early on in our dating adventure that there are many tried-and-true ways of ditching the current partner to look for something else.Everyone tells everyone else to be themselves because they will find someone who loves them for who they are. What nobody says is that there are a large amount of people who are generally crappy. They want something that in their heart they know they don't deserve. So they lie; change a few little things to get to brass ring. Or there are people who leave good relationships because they think they are missing something. More often than not they are wrong, but may never realize it. And then there are people who voluntarily change all of who they are to please who they are with. I, sorry to say, am one of the last ones. the problem is, when you think of nothing but pleasing others, you fail to take care of your own happiness. and that carries over. Anger, denial, depression, and frustration all become dominant and effect the relationship in a negative manner. I know what your thinking: So what is my amazing epiphany as to the ultimate answer? I have a couple of thoughts. The most important one is trying to choose between being yourself and being who you think you should be. The answer is NEITHER!!! In everything we do in life, there is always what I like to call meshing. when two things join together, part stays the same and parts blend to become a combination of the two. In a relationship, it is important to to choose what about you is YOU, and what part you are willing to mesh. do you see the problem? People who lie about themselves are not bringing any true parts to the table, so no meshing can happen. Those who are looking for something better have either not tried to mesh, or are trying to mesh as little as possible while expecting the other party to mesh more. And me and the other total changers do not keep anything of ourselves, so there is not an even mesh. The major problem with us total changers is that we may feel that the meshing is uneven, which it is. We need to hold back, not expect more from our other half. Knowing this, I have come to realize that the problem isn't that we don't know any of this. We, as a society, DON'T GIVE A SHIT!! Knowing what kind of issue you have does not matter. We all are going to keep on doing the same thing until something devastating happens, and even then most will wonder why it happened to them instead of trying to change anything. I understand that sometimes we have no control over what happens to us.At any given time in our lives, we have all been victims of heartache. Small or intense, everyone knows how it feels. Which brings me to the next problem. WORK. everything takes work. When we mesh with someone else, it is not a set deal. The things that mesh now may not mesh later. And society has influenced us into believing that if it's too tough, than "go out and find something better" or "there are more fish in the sea". That's just a fancy way of saying if you don't want to work at it, find someone who thinks like you. But what if the one you leave is the one who you were meant to be with? I for one am a firm believer in True Love and Happily Ever After. I understand dating, trying to find that someone, and testing the waters. Trying to figure out what it is that you really want. And yet, those who actually find it don't often realize it, because they are brainwashed to "keep on looking" or that they "are too young to know what real love is". I missed the government ruling on the age limit for Love. Those who say you can't be in love for something stupid like age are more than likely cheesed because they had it and lost it, but are too stubborn to do anything about it. Their pride stops them from being happy. And now comes my official rant.... To all those who give too much, STOP IT!!! keep your identity, thats what attracted your partner in the first place. To those who look for the "greener grass", sometimes your right, but most of the time it's an excuse get away and do everything you know is wrong for you, without taking and responsibility, blaming the "bad relationship" and that you are just venting. GROW UP!!!! You know what your doing, and you feel guilty. society says it's acceptable do what you want to "recover", and they will hang you out to dry just as fast. And finally, for those who bring nothing but lies to the table, you are the worst. FUCK OFF!!!!!! the havoc you cause when the other two types try to mesh with you is immeasurable. You make potential partners so jaded that it can possibly ruin an Ever After for someone else. The downfall of mankind will not come from nuclear warfare, or disease, or natural disaster. It is happening right now. With no True Love or Ever After, people lose hope. No hope, no want or need to be a better, smarter, greater person. And then we all lose. Stop killing us, start healing. Have a good night.